Today I asked God to find someone else to do this. Feeling discouraged, i offered a prayer of hope, though it seems now like a pretty hopeless prayer. God does need to find someone else, but that someone could still be me- just different than I am today.
I got to work, and Pastor Brandt was there for staff development and taught on affirmation. He used mark 14:32-42 as the passage. He spoke about how Jesus was wanting God to find someone else to do this thing. He talked about affirmation, because Jesus not only was fully God, but also fully Man. Because of his humanity, Jesus was able to, IS able to relate fully to us, we can relate fully to him, because HE TOO wanted the cup to pass, HE TOO felt the heaviness of his calling, his cup. I'm not equating what Christ did with my small calling, but I do identify, and feel affirmed in that calling and in my struggle, because of what he felt and was honest enough to express to his father.
It's not wrong to be afraid, to want something besides what we've been given, not wrong to ask the cup be passed- just don't stay there. To say that, and not listen any longer would be an error- to say what we want, but then join Christ and listen fully for what it is God wants is the lesson we can learn from this. I was discouraged this morning, but I am not alone, and because of the honesty of Christ, and because of the example of Christ, I am affirmed in not only what I am doing, but who I am becoming.
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